Soup is great. I love soup. And when I heard about bread bowls, everything seemed to make sense. However, after experiencing a bread bowl, I could not have been more wrong. Bread bowls are one of the most treacherous abominations known to man.

First of all, a bread bowl is essentially a hollowed out loaf of bread. You would think that’s enough bread, but no. Bread bowls always seem to be served with the innards of the bread, like someone delivering the guts of the pumpkin along with the jovial jack-o-lantern. This is more bread than a person could reasonably eat in a sitting, but then – THEN – they have the audacity to give you a baguette roll. A baguette roll!? That’s too much bread! How dare they!

And besides this colossal pile of carbohydrates, the entire function of the bread bowl is meaningless. Bread is not meant to be enjoyed once the soup is consumed, but rather when the soup is too hot to enjoy. An ideal method is to dip a piece of bread in soup, or to eat the bread on its own, until the soup is cool enough to be eaten. But by the time the soup is cool and you’ve eaten it, the bread bowl is soggy. It is not the same as dipping the bread into the soup, it is a wet mess.  And still, it’s too much bread. Bread on the side

The majority of bread bowls will be thrown out before they are even given a chance, and countless baguette rolls will be taken home as leftovers, only to become stale and lose their purpose: to be dipped and softened for a soup lover’s joy. The bread bowl laughs in the face of respectable soup eaters, and I deny its very existence.