To date or not to date, that is the question
More stories from Alexis Megdanoff
April 30, 2016
More stories from Shealyn Mandle
More stories from Caitlin Heenan
Online Editor Alexis Megdanoff
High school relationships are not worth the effort
He won’t text you back. She’s giving you mixed signals. He doesn’t pay attention to you. She won’t let you hang with your friends. Problem after problem arises in your relationship until one of you decides enough is enough and you change your Facebook status. Since that’s done it’s time to text that cutie in your English class.
It seems that today the ultimate goal on everyone’s mind is obtaining a boyfriend or girlfriend. Nevermind that only two percent of new marriages are between the classic pair of “high school sweethearts.” Let’s just focus on the slim possibility that the one is sitting right next to you but just talks to you to ask what the date is.
While believing this might be entertaining, it almost always leads to complications that cause unwanted drama. High school relationships are what they are-relationships. This may be surprising, but relationships take work. They take away time from the endless list of responsibilities that are given to the average high schooler and it comes to a point where relationships are not worth it, especially in high school.
Everyone in high school must come to the realization that in three years or less they will be leaving home to take on adulthood. A study done by Dr. Fritz Grupe found that 80 percent of college-bound students have yet to choose a major. If you can’t decide what you want do for the rest of your life, you can’t decide who you want to do for the rest of your life. There are too many decisions to make, classes to focus on, and not enough people in high school looking for a relationship for any notable progress to be made in the game of love.
College opens doors to every aspect of life and it isn’t fair to close off opportunities while in high school. Sure you have fun for a year or two, but then one or both of you graduate and suddenly going into college in a relationship doesn’t sound too cool anymore. There are 7 billion people in the world, and you try to say you picked the one from a group of 1,100 kids?
Many people claim dating in high school gives people the chance to “discover love” and learn what characteristics they are looking for. High school is not the time to discover love, it’s the time to discover attraction. No one is looking to date someone else purely because they think they can hold a conversation with them for the rest of their life. High school dating opens doors to everything they don’t teach you in health class and nothing more.
Assistant Editor Shealyn Mandle
Relationships are fine to have in high school but should not be viewed as serious
Being able to enjoy high school memories with a “significant other” can be exciting and even necessary for some teenagers. Although there are many positives within a high school relationship, they should not be viewed as too serious.
There’s an idea of “do’s and do not’s” within each aspect of a relationship. For example, do introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your friends and find a way to have fun together. Do not take away all of your boyfriend/girlfriend’s friends to only spend time with each other and pretend you are an isolated married couple. It is important to keep friends around and stay involved in high school activities. You can do all of this with someone by your side, just make sure they are not holding you back.
On special occasions it is nice to give your loved one some kind of gift. However, many people overdo this idea. It is by no means necessary to go out and buy a $400 ring for your girlfriend on your “three month anniversary”. Money just should not be that big of a factor in a high school relationship. You are doing it right, though, if you hand make something that will generate more happiness or laughter than something bought ever could.
High school relationships can teach people a lot about themselves, and allow them to know exactly what they will look for later in life. Individuals can benefit in lessons, knowledge and good memories just by being linked to someone. However, if taken too seriously, relationships can be damaging, heart breaking and messy. This is why it is important to have priorities and to be thinking straight when dealing with someone you have feelings for. Girls should not make it their biggest goal to find their husband in high school rather than focusing on a career and college. Boys should not allow their opinions and interests to be swayed just because they are wrapped around a girls finger.
The biggest problem with love-struck teenagers is that they think their relationships will last forever. Judgement can often be clouded when one is deciding on his or her future with the constant thought of staying with his or her partner. There is still a two percent chance that you’re high school sweetheart will stick with you throughout life. True love does exist, and you might just find it early on. It is perfectly okay to enjoy time spent with a boyfriend/girlfriend but your lives should remain separate. If someone is going to change the other, it should be for the better.
Editor-in-Chief Caitlin Heenan
Relationships between high schoolers are serious and should be treated as such
Once upon a time there was a woman. She was to live happily ever after with her husband and three children in the faraway land of Warren, Michigan. The destiny of this seemingly joyous family would forever be rocked on June 6, 1944, also known as D-Day. The husband, storming the beaches of Normandy, was shot and taken back to the United States in hopes of healing. Shortly after, the woman was widowed and never married again. Rather than dwell on her husband’s death, to this day, the woman keeps sweet memories of their short time together.
Everything I know about love, I have learned from my grandma (the woman from the story). I find it incredible that she could spend most of her life alone by never remarrying. This, to me is a testament to true love, showing that love can come from anywhere, at any time and can last a lifetime. This demonstration of love can even come in high school or middle school for that matter.
Love should not be defined within the limits of age and maturity levels. It is selfish and naive to think high schoolers are incapable of loving each other just because they are young. High school is the time when the corruption of the real world is kept just far away enough to allow people to see each other as partners, not just an opportunity for a tax write off.
High school relationships have a positive influence on teenagers; they allow teens to learn what they like and dislike in the people around them and allow teens to experience the process of forming and developing relationships. According to a study by the University of Denver, “The formation of romantic relationships is often thought to be one of the important developmental tasks of adolescence and these relationships have significant implication for health and adjustment.”
For example, relationships require those involved to give, not just take, learn about each other’s strengths and weaknesses and to listen to the other person, making sacrifices when necessary.
Although, I believe it is possible for high school relationships to last, I am not suggesting everyone who claims to love each other in high school will get married, have a bunch of healthy children and live happily. After all, not every relationship as an adult occurs in this fashion. However, I am suggesting high school relationships are a lot more important than our society currently gives them credit for.